We Live Like This
by Tossino
Summary: All in the life of the Order... A collection of not-really-drabbles for a meme on LJ. Rated M, but not all of the not-really-drabbles are M, of course.
1. Herbal Tea and Asian Goes Hand In Hand

This is a collection of drabbles for a meme I'm doing on LJ. If anyone is curious, here's the entry: http:// tossino. livejournal. com/ 2007. html

Just remove the spaces, you know. There are still spots left, if you wanna request anything.

So... I'm putting all the prompts here, because I'll write them in order, so you can just read what you want. xD

**#1: **"Perhaps-- LaviYuu? With the line/prompt.. Herbal Tea." meggle_star

**#2:** "Kanda + Allen + Lavi: Mistake (+=friendship)" harmony283**  
**

**#3: **"How about... Lenalee + Lavi (friendship, as harmony mentioned) Something about chocolate and something about eye patches (if you can fit the second one). ^^" saxon_jesus

**#4: **"LaviYuu please.... prompt: eternal" rizuka

**#5: **"I'd very much a Lavi and Kanda story, with ice-skating as the theme, please!" mugen_edamame

**#6: **"can I have some... LaviYuu in a pirate AU?" hakasha

**#7: - **"Timcampy has been evolving. Is it according to plan (whose?) or an experiment going wrong/taking unexpected path? Does Timcampy take more after Allen or Cross? Link finds out the hard way" sekitx2

**#8: - **"Kanda and Lavi, virgin college roommates. Lavi hates that no matter how hard he tries, not one girl will touch him for more than a few seconds, and Kanda hates that no matter how hard he thinks about it, he wants to touch Lavi -- not that he does." ainoche

**#9: - **"Kanda/Lavi. Sunbathing on the roof - with obligatory nakedness, because, ya know, you obviously can't sunbath with clothes because what're you going to about that tanline?" solitaryjane

**#10: -**

lol, so far only LaviYu, pretty much...

Kay! So for the first fill.

**Title: **Herbal Tea and Asian Goes Hand In Hand

**Summary: **Kanda is pissed off. Lavi hopes to be able to coax him out of it. With... herbal tea?

**Pairing:** LaviYu/LaviKanda/LoveYou, however you wanna put it. xD

**Genre: **Friendship (I'll put this because the only romance was basically at the end... aside from like a line in the beginning), humour (supposedly? I tried)

**Rating:** T

**Warnings: **Shonen-ai (mild boyxboy). Don't like don't read. Kanda's foul mouth.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own DGM~

I hope you like it, meggle! This is also your birthday present, of sorts, so... Happy birthday!

Feel free to point out typos, grammar errors, awkward sentences, and such. And enjoy, of course.

* * *

**meggle_star**

**Perhaps-- LaviYuu?**

**With the line/prompt..**

**Herbal Tea.**

**Herbal Tea and Asian Goes Hand In Hand**

Kanda Yu was in a very foul mood. Oh, yes, a very foul mood indeed. You wouldn't believe. Why? Because it sucked. What sucked? The day. And _whyyy_? Because he had just failed a fucking mission. The Akuma had gotten their hands on the Innocence before he and that idiot Lavi could reach it. Lavi was a particular idiot this time because it was his fault they had failed (yes, really, his fault, his fault only). It was he who had decided which places to check and caused them to be too late to the real location, and thus the Akuma got the Innocence.

The _fucking idiot_.

At least said idiot was wise enough to stay away from Kanda, or he would surely get what for. Kanda was _not_ going to put up with idiots ruining his success rate when it came to missions. He was one of the best Exorcists, and that was not changing! (Even though he knew one mission wouldn't really do that much difference but hey, he was pissed off, give him a break.)

So he was left alone to fume silently in their room at the Inn in town, sitting for a long while just glaring at the wall until he finally decided to try and meditate even if the surroundings weren't really ideal (he didn't really like to meditate outside of his room or the actual room for meditating in the Order).

It was when he was beginning to calm down that the door opened and he twitched a little, but still didn't open his eyes. A smell of some sort of… melon (?) reached his nostrils and he felt a little tiny bit curious. What had Lavi brought with him back? (Yes, he knew it was Lavi. He just knew those things. He had some real nice instincts.)

Surprisingly, Lavi actually didn't_ say anything_, and that was just very, very weird. Lavi always talked, always. He couldn't enter a room without saying a word. Could it be that he actually respected that Kanda was obviously meditating?

…really?

Yeah, right.

The curiosity took over and Kanda cracked an eye open, staying completely still in his position on the bed. Lavi had his hair down, his eye-patch seemed to be almost askew for some reason, and his Exorcist jacket hung open on his shoulders and his expression was calm and almost solemn. And that was an expression Kanda wasn't used to seeing on him, not really. It was there sometimes, but… it was so rare.

On the floor stood a tray with two teacups along with a teapot and some fruits and sweets. Lavi settled down next to it and finally fixed his gaze on Kanda, and that was when a smile spread on his face. A small, genuine smile, not like the stupid, wide ones he usually wore among most people. It sort of made Kanda's heart flutter a little (which he scowled at), because it was just so… so… sweet? (Kanda didn't think things were sweet. Somehow, that made him think so.)

Kanda opened his other eye and frowned at Lavi. But it wasn't an angry frown (not yet), and Lavi knew that.

"Wanna have some tea with me, Yu?" he asked, softly and silently almost as if he was a bit afraid.

Kanda raised an eyebrow and stared at the redhead. That was rather sudden. But it did smell nice, and the fruit – although he pretty much never ever ate anything else but soba – did look quite tasty. Plus, Lavi actually looked a little sorry. Err, not just a little, actually, but a lot.

He shifted and uncrossed his legs, sliding off the bed without a single word. And he sat down opposite of the idiot, who picked up one of the teacups and handed it to him, their fingers brushing together briefly at that action. And the touch was warm. Very warm. It surely wasn't the warm teacup that made his skin burn a little.

"Wax Gourd herbal tea," Lavi smiled and picked up his own cup. "Hope you like that kind. I sort of made a long shot, because it's popular in Asia, but I dunno if that means anything."

Kanda scowled and kept silent about how the first time he actually was in his documented home country was when they went to Edo all of those months ago. And Lavi had to understand how unlikely it was that anyone was born in Japan, with it being ruled by Earl since years and years and years ago (whatever now the exact number was).

He took a sip, and yeah, it was actually good. He finally decided to speak.

"Why?" he asked.

"Why what?" Lavi asked.

Kanda scowled more testily. "What's with this?" he grumbled and motioned at the tray.

"I thought you'd appreciate it," Lavi said and smiled as he grabbed a caramel and popped it into his mouth. "And… well… I'm sorry."

"And you should be," Kanda said bluntly and the bunny hung his head. "It's your fault."

"I was hoping you'd say you forgive me," Lavi mumbled and pouted, fingering on his teacup.

"Che."

"I understand, though… I mean… Yeah… I'm really sorry."

Kanda glared a little and stayed silent as he continued drinking his tea. Strangely, he found the warmth and smell of the tea somewhat calming. Herbal tea was supposed to be calming, wasn't it? Was that what Lavi had been planning all along? Calming him down with herbal tea? Well, fuck you, Lavi, it wasn't happening, damn it. He was pissed off, and he was staying pissed off.

…well, he wasn't so much pissed off anymore that he was angry but he was _angry_, and that wasn't changing no matter what Lavi did. At least not when he came with such a half-assed apology and thought it would work. Honestly.

The silence wrapped tightly around them and locked them in. It made Lavi fidgety, while Kanda in all honestly didn't get bothered at all despite how heavy and somewhat awkward it was. Probably because the biggest reason it was awkward was that Kanda made it so. Yep. And Lavi really wished he could understand why Kanda insisted on being so... Kanda. It was frustrating. He had admitted he did something wrong and he had apologised, what more did the Japanese want?

Kanda seemed pretty... bitter about something that he wasn't sure what it was supposed to be. Err, he was angry because of the mission thing, of course, but there was something else, too. Aha, was he catching on that Lavi was doing this to calm him down? That would be bad, because then it would be harder to coax him into being calm. Hahh, he could be so troublesome sometimes, really. Lavi knew him, he did, but sometimes even he was a bit at a loss of what to do. Although, they had been through a lot of bumps and maybe he was just a slow learner...

"What more do ya want, Yu?" he asked – the best way to figure something out when it came to Kanda Yu was to ask. "I said I'm sorry, and... I did this 'cause I was hopin' it'd cheer ya up a little, 'cause... I hate seein' you mad at me, Yu, so dun' look at me like that."

He pouted, but Kanda's glare didn't change.

"I'm fucking mad at you. Get over it," Kanda said bluntly and turned his head away; his way of giving Lavi the cold shoulder without actually turning his back towards him, which was also sort of a sign that he could still be made less mad.

"You still didn' answer my question," Lavi stated, and pouted more.

"Figure it out yourself, bonehead."

Lavi sighed heavily and grabbed an apple, taking a big bite out of it as he stared at Kanda. Maybe, if he tried hard and long enough, he could see an answer from looking at him. _Maybe!_

...bah, who was he kidding?

"I'm sorry for being such a fucking idiot and screwing up the mission, it's all my fault," he tried and tilted his head at Kanda. "An' I'll take the blame. But, really, you could've—"

"I could've done what?" Kanda snarled. "You were being so persistent! You insisted that _your _idea was right and we couldn't split up because we didn't know 'what was waiting for us'. I should have gone in the right direction anyway, because you would've followed since the only one here who would actually have trouble with any Akuma on his own is you."

Lavi scowled. Now that was completely uncalled for, a way too low blow, even for Kanda. He knew he was among the weakest Exorcists. He didn't need someone to punch it into him.

"Yu, that was low."

"But that's not the problem," Kanda continued, ignoring his words (which didn't make him much happier, ugh).

"Huh?"

"Fuck, I don't care about some screwed up mission," the Japanese huffed and glared intently at Lavi. "Shit happens. But I hate when you're such a fucking smartass."

Lavi wasn't entirely sure he was following anymore. "Smartass?" he repeated and frowned.

"Yes, smartass." Kanda gave him a glare that told him to shut the fuck up and let him talk. "I hate when you act like my opinions don't matter and only you could possibly be right. You're not the only one who's been an Exorcist for years. I've been an Exorcist _longer _than you. I know the job, so don't act is if only you do."

Kanda could almost sniff his way to Innocence, damn it.

"That's... not what I'm trying to do..." Lavi muttered and scratched his neck. "Do I really act like that?"

"Fuck yeah you do," Kanda said (he could have said something entirely sarcastic, he almost wanted to, but he felt that it didn't fit the situation). "I hate it. You're not so great. Bastard."

Lavi sighed silently. Okay... Kanda was really seriously angry and that wasn't good. When it was so sincerely, when Kanda said "I hate it" and not "I hate you", when he was glaring in that not-so-deadly-but-totally-serious way then Lavi knew it wasn't going to go away so easily. But as long as Kanda would stop giving him that look then it was fine.

"I'm sorry," he said again. "I really am. I'm not... trying to put you down or anything..." He leaned forward a little and put away the apple to lightly brush his fingers over Kanda's hand. "So... don't look at me like that. I hate it." He smiled a little. "You've every right, but... please don't look at me like that."

Kanda scowled, but he didn't look at Lavi like that anymore. And that was a huge relief.

"Thank you," Lavi smiled and pried the cup out of Kanda's hands while putting away his own cup.

Kanda blinked in that cute, owlish way that he did so rarely and as always it disappeared just as quickly as usual when the casual frown spread over his features instead, starting at his lips and ending at his eyes. And Lavi grabbed both of his hands and laced their fingers together as he leaned over the tray, his breath hitting Kanda's lips.

"I'm still angry," Kanda felt the need to say, and Kanda was never one to ignore that kind of need.

"I know," Lavi mumbled and pressed a brief kiss to the samurai's lips, the feeling of it lingering still on his own lips as he pulled away, keeping their hands as they were.

Kanda stayed still for a moment, eyeing Lavi with an expression that the redhead actually couldn't read - but he hoped it meant he was forgiven, just a little - then pulled his hands free to grab the cup of tea. Lavi settled back down and threw away the apple, because he didn't feel like eating it anymore, neither did he feel like drinking his tea at the moment.

Because, obviously, Kanda Yu tasted much better than any herbal tea.


	2. Suck It Up

**Title:** Suck It Up

**Summary:** Lavi gets badly wounded. Allen and Kanda has to push all bitterness aside to help him. ...well, they try (supposedly).

**Pairing:** None. Allen/Lavi/Kanda friendship.

**Genre:** Friendship, angst

**Rating:** T

**Warnings:** Blood, Kanda's foul mouth...possible OOCness? (I'm afraid Allen's a bit OOC, but... His friend was wounded, he was tired and there were lots of shit happening?)

**Disclaimer:** DGM and all its characters belong to Hoshino Katsura (It's time for bed when you forget the first name of your favourite mangaka), and I love them so muches.

Time for Harmony283's drabble! (A friend told me drabbles are under 1000 words, lololol, I was like "bah whatever drabble is a loose term these days *butthurt*". I'm a child like that.) And, erm... I had an idea, that I really liked! But it didn't turn out that way. Not that I don't like how this turned out too but I really liked that original idea... Oh well. And the title doesn't really fit anymore?? But... I can't think of anything else.

Since I have so many joke requests to write, this is a srs srs piece, yup. I had an idea for a humour one as well, but went with this. But someone else did give me the idea... Sensei on D . Gray - Divinity. I dunno her fanfiction account, if she has any?

Anyway, this is ALSO, like the first one, posted on the requester's birthday. XDD In my timezone that is. She's been a year older for about two hours for me. So.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MANDY, AND I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS! And I sure hope it's not OOC? *Fidget*

Typos, grammar mistakes, awkward phrasings, just point them out, kay? :3 If you want to.

* * *

**harmony283**

**hmm...for this I'll go with**

**Kanda + Allen + Lavi: Mistake**

**(+=friendship) **

**Suck It Up**

_'Does he have to be so heavy?'_

The thought was bitter and angry, but it was in honesty spawned from desperation. The air was positively _freezing_, biting into his cheeks and cutting his worn out lungs as he breathed. Cloud after cloud of air rapidly being heated up flew from his lips as he struggled to breathe properly, trying with all his might to drag the heavy and lifeless body across the ground. And he didn't have much might.

God, he was tired, he wanted to lie down and sleep, he wanted to curl up in a warm place and rest. And that was a fucking selfish thought that he berated himself for. He just had to... get to a secluded place that provided some shelter, and he had to find--

Where the hell was Kanda?

He exhaled heavily and dropped to the ground, rummaging through the jacket on the body he was dragging, the body with flaming red hair and an eye-patch on its right eye that was covered in way too much blood.

_'Lavi, Lavi, Lavi, damn it, don't die on me.'_

He found the black golem and pulled it out, hands trembling. Timcanpy wasn't a communication golem, and he had lost his own. It had probably been destroyed during the fight. Tears of anger and frustration burned in his eyes as he prayed that the call would connect. Please, let the call connect. He held his breath as he waited, and as the golem finally crackled he let out a whisper of "oh thank God" and wiped his eyes.

_"Idiot Rabbit, where the hell are you?!" _came Kanda's angry and breathless tone, the sounds of bullets being fired echoing in the background.

"Kanda!"

_"...Bean Sprout?"_

Allen grabbed a hold of Lavi's shoulders again and continued to pull him. "Kanda, where are you?" he asked, unable to hide the desperate tone. "Where the hell..." He panted heavily and swallowed the lump in his throat. "Kanda... Lavi..."

_"Where's Lavi?" _Kanda answered, with a question, sharply.

"Damn it," Allen breathed out, feeling something tug at the back of his coat in some sort of attempt in pulling him along. It had to be Tim. "Lavi... I think... Lavi... is dying. He's _dying_, Kanda! If I had only--"

_"What the fuck, Bean Sprout, gather yourself together! Che. Where are you?"_

Allen didn't miss the slight shaking in Kanda's voice (Kanda cared for Lavi, yes, he cared).

"I don't know!" Allen cried and forced back a sob. "I... can't see... There's trees and snow and... I don't know."

He wiped his eyes again and looked up at the sky; maybe he could see the explosions of the battle Kanda was obviously still engaged in.

_"Pathetic,"_ Kanda grumbled. _"Fuck, idiot, focus. Are you an Exorcist or not?"_

Allen shook his head, trying to clear it. Easy for Kanda to say. He was in pain, he was crawling in the cold snow dragging his vitally wounded best friend, it was at least minus ten degrees celsius and the trees didn't provide nearly enough shelter from the wind. He was _trying_.

"I... think I can see explosions..." he muttered and squinted at the sky. "But the wind is too loud for me to hear it. Is there a forest nearby your position?"

_'Please say yes, please say yes.'_

_"Che, yeah."_

_'Oh, thank goodness.'_

"Then... Could you come?" Allen asked and pulled Lavi yet another few decimeters. "I don't... think I can do this alone. I don't know what to do."

He had taken care of wounded, but not in a place like this, not where there was nothing around to use, nothing around to use for help. No shelter no warmth no water, nothing. And he was running out of power.

_"I have to finish up here,"_ Kanda answered bitterly. _"That's my job."_

But he would come. He just didn't say it.

"But then you'll come..."

But Allen wanted to hear it, damn it.

_"...yes. Don't move him, and try to keep him warm. Where the fuck is that Crow, anyway?"_

"How am I supposed to keep him warm?" Allen asked and stilled. "Link is... gone somewhere, I don't know."

_"Think of something!" _Kanda snapped. _"Damn it, Bean Sprout, you really are pathetic! If you wanna save him, then make some sacrifices if you have to. Use your coat or whatever, just _keep him warm_."_

"Keep him warm... Okay," Allen muttered and began to unbutton his coat. He could sacrifice that. Anything that could keep Lavi alive. "Hurry up, Kanda."

_"Yeah, yeah... yeah."_

The sound of battle that came from the golem disappeared and left him with nothing but the sound of the wind, his own beating heart and his heavy breathing, and he hated it. He wanted the sounds of battle back.

He pulled the coat off his shoulders and inhaled sharply as the cold wind bit into his skin without mercy. The torn shirt he was wearing underneath wasn't enough for warmth, not at all. But this was for Lavi's sake. Yes, for Lavi's. This was his fault. He had to fix this, he couldn't give it up. Damn it, Kanda better hurry up. He needed someone who could check the surroundings. He couldn't move very much...

. . .

_Allen couldn't remember anytime when there had been so much chaos. He had no idea where he was anymore. He and Lavi had lost the others, or had been driven away from them, but the details didn't matter did it? Getting split up was bad when they were surrounded by enemies._

_He saw a chance to attack and leaped at one of the Akuma. There was a flash and a cry from Lavi, that sounded like a sort of warning, and then he was thrown back and blinded by dust in his eyes, something wet hitting his right cheek. He could see nothing for a long while and he had a vague feeling of being tossed around or... _something_. What the hell was going on?_

_When the world finally stilled and his vision cleared the enemies were gone (where in the world had they gone). He coughed and gripped his leg that was bleeding quite badly with one hand and wiped his cheek with the other. He squinted at the liquid he had wiped off._

_It was blood._

_Lavi._

. . .

Allen had tried sweeping away snow from a spot on the ground, even if the ground was probably frozen, in hopes that without snow it would be a bit warmer and dragged Lavi into that spot. After wrapping his own coat around the redhead, he had huddled down over him to try and protect him, and that was how Kanda found them.

Allen vaguely managed to make out that something prodded at him and that, that, pulled him back down to earth, where he had floated away to hide from the cold and pain in his leg.

"Oi, Bean Sprout," he heard Kanda's voice and saw a bucket placed down on the ground next to him. "You're not gonna die, are you?"

"You wish," Allen grunted testily and scowled.

He was just about to straight up, but stopped when there was a sudden weight on his shoulders. He looked down and saw the dark red fabric of a Black Order Exorcist coat.

What?

"Kanda?" he asked and sat up, looking up at Kanda and... sure enough, the Japanese was only wearing his button-up shirt now. "Why...?"

"Che, some cold won't kill me. You on the other hand... You're wounded too, aren't you? If something happened to you Lenalee would never forgive me."

Allen frowned and bristled up like an angry cat, his lips pouting as he tried to look threatening. "I don't need your he--"

"Just accept it and shut the fuck up!" Kanda snapped angrily and rolled his eyes while kneeling down next to Lavi. "Understand when you need help, idiot. What, do you think you can do everything on your own?"

"I don't! I did say I couldn't do _this_ on my own, didn't I?"

"Whatever. You sounded as if this was your fault before. What the hell did you two do?"

Allen paused and watched as Kanda pulled off Allen's coat from Lavi's body, along with any other clothes that were in the way, dipped a torn piece of fabric (that was from his shirt, Allen noticed) into the bucket (where did he get the water?) and removed the improvised bandages Allen had used (but they would've had to be removed soon anyway so... it was okay?) so that he could clean the (oh so nasty) wounds.

. . .

_Lavi was there, a bit to the side. He was awfully pale and blood was forming on the ground under him. His shoulder had a hole straight through and his side had a deep gash in it. He appeared to have hit his head and he was missing a tooth. And all of it was bleeding rapidly._

_"LAVI!" Allen screamed with his dry throat and stumbled onto his feet, rushing over to the redhead's side and falling down on his knees._

_Pain shot up his leg, but he didn't mind it. "Damn it," he muttered under his breath. "Damn it damn it damn it. This is my fault. I'm so sorry, Lavi."_

'If you die I'll never forgive myself.'

_But no, Lavi couldn't die, he just couldn't. Allen gritted his teeth and unbuttoned his Exorcist jacket. He had to bandage those wounds up the best he could and try to get away from here, just... somewhere. Anywhere._

. . .

"I... attacked the wrong Akuma at the wrong moment," Allen muttered, and blinked as Kanda suddenly...slapped Lavi straight across the cheek, and quite hard too. The sound echoed through the air and made him flinch. "What are you--?"

"If he's awake there's a bigger chance he'll survive," Kanda snarled and pressed down on the wound in Lavi's side, watching intently as the green eye's eyelid twitched. "Hey, Idiot Rabbit, can you hear me?"

"Yu...chan?" Lavi mumbled weakly and hoarsely - he needed water, didn't he?

"Don't talk," Kanda grunted and began to clean the wound. "Just stay awake. Bean Sprout, give him some of the water before it gets bloody, but not too much."

Allen pulled the glove off his right hand and dipped it into the ice-cold water. But the cold didn't matter. Even if... you weren't supposed to give wounded anything to drink just like that? Or did that depend on how bad the wounds were? Or where they were? What did he know.

Lavi's throat did sound awfully dry, though.

"I'm sorry, Lavi," he said as he managed to get a little bit of water into the Bookman Junior's mouth. "If I hadn't jumped out like that you wouldn't have--"

"Shut up," Lavi interrupted in a grumble and somehow managed to glare up at Allen a little. "Don't be an idiot."

"You shut up, Lavi," Kanda broke in and prodded at the hole in Lavi's shoulder so that the redhead flinched a little. "I told you, don't talk. You two are both idiots, jumping in front of attacks to save others and putting the whole world on your shoulders. Che."

"The whole world _is_ on our shoulders, Kanda," Allen protested, knowing that jab had been at him.

"But not on _yours_ alone. Stop hurting Lenalee, idiot Bean Sprout."

"I-I'm not-- Wait, what?"

Where did that come from?

"You hurt Lenalee because you're such an idiot. I think you care too much, so you sacrifice yourself too much and it's hurting her."

Allen felt something snap under all of the weight of this horrible day.

"Just because you don't care it doesn't mean everyone else can't!" he growled. "Am I supposed to just ignore everything so that I can live on and feel horrible at myself for not trying things to make a difference?! I've sacrificed a lot of my beliefs for this war already--!

"Blind as usual!" Kanda hissed, interrupting his (quite impressive if you asked him) speech that he had going there. "Fuck it, you don't get it. Figure it out yourself, Bean Sprout."

Allen gaped for a moment, unsure of what to say for a moment, before huffing. "It's Allen," he grumbled. "Just... We should... Lavi..."

_'We can't afford to fight now...'_

"Tch," Kanda grunted in a silent agreement and glared down at Lavi. "Lavi. If you die, I'll fucking kill you."

Lavi grinned just a little and chuckled silently, but this time actually did as Kanda said and didn't speak, just nodded.

Kanda offered his shirt to bandage the wounds (sheesh, was he inhuman? It was so cold and he acted as if it was nothing!) and Allen could almost think of him as a little bit less of a bastard.

If forced to work together, they worked together. They both hated swallowing their pride, but... they would if they had to. For business or for someone they cared for...

And they both really cared for Lavi, didn't they?


	3. Those Who Care Too Much

**Title:** Those Who Care Too Much

**Summary:** "How do you get through... when you care too much?"

**Pairing:** None. Lavi/Lenalee friendship thingy.

**Genre:** Friendship, Hurt/Comfort

**Rating:** T

**Warnings:** Uh... I don't think I have any, really. o_O Lenalee hugging Lavi? XDDD I dunno.

**Disclaimer:** It's a fanfiction. I make no money on writing it, and I haven't created a thing. Not the universe, nor the characters. It belongs to Hoshino Katsura.

So this was supposed to be about chocolate and eye-patches, yeah? So I started off with something with chocolate, but the start I had grew into something entirely else. I squeezed in an eye-patch thing, but... yeah. It's not so much about chocolate and eye-patches as I'm sure it was really intended to be. XDDD But I hope that's fine.

This probably takes place sometime after the move to the new HQ, before any new missions started and Lavi pretty recently went through Road's mindfuck in the Ark.

* * *

**saxon_jesus**

**How about... Lenalee + Lavi (friendship, as harmony mentioned)**

**Something about chocolate and something about eye patches (if you can fit the second one). ^^**

**Those Who Care Too Much**

Lenalee dipped down and ruffled her hair with a white towel as her bare feet padded down the hallway. Getting back home from a mission and taking a relaxing shower was probably among the best things in life. It was so calming and... relaxing. Obviously. That was very redundant.

She sighed and smiled a little as she straightened up, leaving the towel draped over her head. Now all she needed was some nice sleep after her hair had dried and she would be fully recovered. And that would be so nice. It always was.

Actually, some food would be nice too.

She sniffed a little and perked up, stopping in her tracks. In the air was the oh so familiar and lovely smell of chocolate cake. But Jeryy's kitchen was too far away for it to be coming from there.

She blinked, leaned her head back a little and stared at the plate - with, yep, the chocolate cake on top - that had just appeared in front of her face, held up by a hand with a fingerless glove on. And... oh... that smell... She breathed it in a bit deeper as she saw a flash of red, and there stood Lavi in all his glory in front of her, grinning as usual.

"Hi, Lenalee~" he hummed. "Just got back?"

She smiled and nodded, sniffing in the scent of chocolate cake some more. "Yeah," she said and innocently pointed at the cake. "Are you going to eat that?"

Lavi snorted a little and waved his hand. "No, no, of course not," he snickered and pulled off a piece of it. "I shoved it into your face, so that'd be kinda mean, wouldn't it? Although I wouldn't mind if ya could share a little." He held out the piece towards her. "Open up~"

She blinked at him. Huh? What in the...? He could not be serious.

She frowned slightly and gave him a bit of a warning glare, and he laughed, a bit nervously, and stuffed the piece into his own mouth instead.

" 'Kay, no need ta look like you're gonna murder me," he said and coughed a little. "I was just jokin', just jokin'."

"I didn't look like I was going to murder you," she sighed and rolled her eyes, reaching out a hand and plucking a piece of the cake for herself. "Do you want something?"

"Well, I figured that you must be hungry and tired now that ya just got back, and you were probably gonna go to bed right after eatin', but... I was wonderin'... I brought a cake and all." He raised the plate into the air and pointed at it. "And I was wondering if you have some time to talk. 'Cause... I want to ask you something. And I'd rather it didn't have to wait. If that's okay for ya."

He smiled widely and she nodded slowly. "Sure," she said and grabbed some more of the cake before she continued walking towards her room. "I have to wait for my hair to dry anyway, so I have time."

"Awesome!"

The cake had gotten remarkably smaller when they reached Lenalee's room. She made a quick check on the room to make sure her brother hadn't installed some weird things that would defend her towards possible "threats" before she gave Lavi the clear to come in and closed the door. She then sat down on the bed, where Lavi had already taken a seat, and wrapped the towel around her shoulders.

Lavi's aura had changed. He was nibbling on a piece of the chocolate cake and was frowning towards the far wall in front of him.

"So... what is it then?" Lenalee asked and tilted her head as she watched him, grabbing some more cake.

He finished his own piece and chewed it slowly. She waited patiently for him to finish and talk. It was very rare that he came to her with things... So what could it be?

When he had swallowed, he spoke.

"How do you get through... when you care too much?"

Lenalee blinked and stared at him. "What do you mean by that?" she replied, her forehead slowly furrowing into a slight frown. "What does it mean to care too much? I always thought there was just caring."

_'And why did you come to me? Do you think I care "too much"?'_

Lavi shook his head and rubbed his forehead. He looked really quite... miserable. Very bothered and concerned. It wasn't the first time.

What was on his mind now?

"When it just hurts, when it just feels like a burden, when you care, what do you do?"

Lenalee looked down at the floor and kept frowning. Was Lavi... suffering? He didn't show it, not much, but now... now... he looked so... vulnerable. Now... he looked _so suffering_. And... was that how it was? Was he suffering from the pain of caring?

Why?

"I go to my brother," she said silently. "Or Kanda, or Allen. I lean on them, and talk to them... Do you have... someone to talk to?"

There was a long pause, so she looked up again. Lavi was frowning intensily, probably thinking. She could almost see the gears turning in his head. It was a strange question. Didn't most people search comfort from someone they were close to when they were hurting? She always thought that everyone did so, actually. It seemed so... obvious. She had always gone to Komui when she had needed comfort, always. And then when she got to the Order Kanda became one of those people. And then Allen came along too.

There was something about Lavi that had made her not feel comfortable to do so with him.

At least back then.

He gave off a different aura now.

There was something... something like... When he came to the Order he had felt cold and closed up. Now... he was vulnerable and open. Almost open, at least.

"I can't... really... I can't just talk to anyone." Before she could ask why, he continued. "It's complicated. I'd have to explain too much. Classified information. The only one I'd be able to talk to would be Bookman but... but I... don't dare talk to him..."

Lenalee couldn't make any real sense of all this. What was going on between those two? She knew there were things they didn't tell others, and she knew there were things Komui knew about them but didn't tell her or anyone. Komui knew exactly what the Bookmen were, and so did Central. But no one else. No one else.

She knew they recorded history.

But what. Exactly. _Were they_?

"Why not?" she asked.

"Because I'm afraid he'll make us leave."

Lavi's voice broke there. Broke and shattered to the floor, and he buried his face in his hands and just trembled.

And he just looked so... so... _pathetic_ - and she shouldn't think that way - that she couldn't not feel very bad for him. She didn't understand, no, but... It hurt him. It was hurting him.

She swallowed, and a bit hesitantly, scooted closer to Lavi and put her arms around him, loosely.

"Can he do that?" she asked carefully. She wasn't sure what she could ask and not. She didn't want to hurt him more. "Would Central allow that?"

"Central doesn't have anything to do with us. We're not Exorcists. We're Bookmen. If Bookman says that we're leaving, there's nothing they can do. And I care too much. I can't... do that, I shouldn't, it's... not allowed. So to take control of that... he might take me away from here."

She could hear him grit his teeth and he leaned, just a little bit, against her.

"And I don't want that. I don't want that. I want to stay with you guys."

But would Bookman want to drop this record so easily? It was a huge thing. Would he really just drop it if Lavi "cared too much"? It seemed a bit... unwise.

Still.

"Why can't you tell any of us, then? If you can't talk to Bookman, can't you tell as anyway? It's not like we would tell him."

Lavi laughed, a bit dryly. "I sorta fear how you'd react, any of you, if I did tell ya. And I... I guess I'm a bit of a coward because I fear a lot of things..." He snorted dryly. "Like... That the jeezer will croak it so that I have to take over and... I fear that I'm not ready for that. And it'll probably hurt like a bitch if he actually dies because, damn it, I care about him too. He's almost like a father to me. And then there's... this."

He pulled away a little and hooked his thumb under his eye-patch, tugging a bit at it.

Lenalee was starting to see him as someone more and more human for each time she saw him...

"What do you mean?" she asked.

What was it about that eye-patch?

Lavi shook his head. "I'ven't been without it for a long time, so... it sorta scares me, what'll happen, I guess," he sighed. She gave him a raised eyebrow. "Uhm... That's sorta my very biggest secret. Really highly classified. I shouldn't've said anything 'bout that, sorry."

She blinked at him. "Well... Okay..." she said slowly. "That's fine. You should be careful with what you say, though, if it's really so classified." He laughed dryly again. "But, you know... If you talk to someone, I'm sure you'll be fine, as long as it doesn't get in the way of your job. We always have to make sure we can still fight, right? That's not any different because you're a Bookman... You have to be strong."

Lavi grimaced. "Easier said than done," he muttered. "Tch. You're all nuts. All of you care too much. You, Allen, Komui... You all carry so much shit on your shoulders. I don't get how you manage if there's no trick to it. Guess there are no shortcuts, eh?"

She shook her head. "No shortcuts," she confirmed.

"Yeah, well, thanks, I guess," he said and gave her a skew smile.

But at least it was a smile.


	4. We Will Remember

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KANDA! And this is the start of the 2010 LaviYu festival! Everyone go check out the festival's HQ at http: /thelaviyufesthq. livejournal. com and it'd be great if more people could join in on the contest that opens the festival. You can win a fic, from either me or hearmelaugh (mugen_edamame on LJ)!

**Title:** We Will Remember

**Summary:** Kanda wants to give Lavi an eternal scar, but he could never hurt him that much.

**Pairing:** LaviYu

**Genre: **Romance

**Rating:** M - that means, a new rating on the whole thing, yeah.

**Warnings:** Yaoi, hint-ish sex between two men - don't like, don't read - insane-ish Kanda and... angst-ish?

**Disclaimer:** DGM belongs to the awesome Hoshino Katsura~

Rizuka's drabble! I'm very proud of this piece! It's been done for a week and a day, and I wanted to post it by then already but it was supposed to be for Kanda's birthday. xD

If Kanda's mood seems to swing around a bit too quickly, blame it on PMS. *SHOT* Nah, just kidding. That's because I was playing around with his sanity when writing this, if it feels that way, so yeah.

* * *

**rizuka**

**LaviYuu please... prompt: eternal**

**We Will Remember**

Kanda sometimes wishes that there were things in the world that were eternal.

It's a silly thing, a naïve thing, a stupid thing, because nothing is eternal

Not even the damn _soul _is, even if so many people believe so. But it can die. Order members know that.

Everything will come to an end one day, no matter how long it takes. _Everything_, mark his words. Anything that has a beginning needs to have an end. That's just how it works. Circle of life, that sort of shit. Except it can't be a circle because life ends, and circles don't, circles just disappear.

Or something.

Everything will disappear one day, more exactly.

Even those incredible memories of the Bookmen.

Kanda sometimes wishes there were things that would be stored in this world forever. No; would be stored in some sort of existence forever, because this world will disappear too one day. One day. Maybe after a million years, but it will.

But some things should exist forever.

Like memories of tender kisses, of watching someone sleep, of waking up next to someone, of the feeling of someone's warm arms, of the feeling of naked skin against naked skin, of nails digging into said naked skin, of someone being inside of you, of being inside of someone. Those sort of memories. Those that are worth keeping.

The feeling of loving someone more than you thought was even possible.

Kanda knows his life is short, and his time with Lavi is possibly even shorter, and that's why he wants so badly for those sort of things to be eternal. Somehow. He wants it so badly that he sometimes, while watching Lavi, considers giving him a scar so bad that it will last until he dies.

But he can't hurt Lavi in that way.

It sounds pretty insane, doesn't it? Maybe Kanda is insane. Sometimes he just gets this very heavy urge to hurt Lavi just so that it will be remembered. But he doesn't _have _to hurt Lavi for him to be remembered. He doesn't.

'_Remember me,' _Kanda thinks, without the guts to spill it, when he kisses Lavi in the early morning while the latter is still half asleep.

Love has made him sappy and weak, made him into a coward, so that he can't even say what he so badly wants to say. He wants to show it somehow, but he doesn't know how. So he once again considers hurting Lavi and tell him that "this scar will make you remember". But that's just not right.

Love has turned him into a coward so that he can't say what he wants to say to the one who should - needs to - hear it. And it pisses him off.

Lavi stirs and his lips spread into that wide, content smile he only wears while sleeping or when tired. Or just generally lazy. Which he is pretty often, actually.

Stupid smile (that Kanda loves so much).

Kanda promptly lies down and turns away, emitting an I-didn't-do-anything-got-it aura. He always does that, it's their thing. Lavi knows he did do something, anyway. Kanda always does something affectionate when Lavi hasn't quite waken up (so that he knows but Kanda can claim to have thought he was asleep). Don't tell anyone.

Lavi turns after him to face his back, and does their other little thing, which is the butt-squeeze morning greeting.

Kanda grunts silently and lightly jabs his elbow into Lavi's ribs. It's followed by a silent laugh through the nose from Lavi and Kanda feels an arm drape over him as the redhead snuggles up to his back and nuzzles his nose against the back of his neck, where it sort of tickles a little. But Kanda's skin only twitches when it tickles, because Kanda doesn't laugh, even if it tickles a lot.

"Kiss," Lavi mumbles tiredly and drags himself up so that it seems he's trying to climb over Kanda but stops half-way there instead. Kanda's vision is blocked by lots of red when Lavi leans down to place a kiss on his lips, however unsuccesfully so it ends up right outside the edge of his lips instead.

Kanda smirks. "Good job, moron," he drawls. "Now get off me."

Lavi slides off Kanda with a whine and presses his lips to Kanda's neck so that he can feel the pout on said lips.

"I don't feel like getting crushed first thing in the morning, so don't give me that," he says, but not bitterly. Just amusingly.

Lavi huffs and sniffs and whines for a little, but when he's ignored he just flops onto his back instead and stretches as he yawns. Kanda slowly gets out of the bed and goes to hunt down some clothes as Lavi does his long stretching and yawning and eye-rubbing morning routine that finishes when Kanda has hunted down some clothes and put them on. Lavi then proceeds to turn onto his side and curl up under the blanket.

Kanda stares at the lump that is the idiot rabbit and folds his arms. "If you want to eat with me, then get up," he says blankly. "You have five minutes."

"What do I get in return?" comes the muffled reply from the blanket.

"I'll let you undress me before bed," Kanda says, still with the same tone.

Lavi throws the blanket to the side and rolls off the bed.

. . .

They're tangled in the sheets of the bed. They just had a bit of a wrestling match, because Lavi was being annoying, and now Kanda's hair is a mess and his hairband has almost slid off completely, and Lavi's eye patch is askew and his headband is lying somewhere among the heaps of fabric. Kanda fixes the position of Lavi's eye patch, doesn't miss the way the redhead tenses for a moment but doesn't pay it any mind, and tugs at Lavi's shirt to get him to move closer even if they already are pretty close, and breathing heavily.

It's pretty hot.

But just because of the wrestling, mind you.

"Are you going to do your part of the bargain or not?" Kanda asks between the breathing and strokes Lavi's jaw with his fingertips. Stroke, stroke, wants to touch and not stop touching ever, ever. It feels so good to touch.

"Mmm want me to undress ya that badly, Yu?" Lavi murmurs with that mischievious tone and a smile that fits it as Kanda places one of his hands on his clothed chest.

"Che no, you're always so annoyingly slow."

Lavi gets to work on the buttons of Kanda's shirt and caresses the skin as it's exposed to only him.

"Isn't everything I do annoying?"

Kanda huffs and stares at Lavi's collarbone as he enjoys the feeling of his lover's fingers on his skin. No, this isn't really annoying, he rather likes it, really. But it all depends on the mood he's in at that moment. Right now, he's feeling sort of slow himself, so he doesn't mind the slowness.

"No," he says, very quietly.

Lavi pauses, but only for a very brief moment, and then continues with a thoughtful hum. Once the buttons are undone and Kanda moves his hands to Lavi's shoulders, gently kneeding, Rabbit strokes his palm across Kanda's collarbone and pushes the fabric out of the way, so that it slips off Kanda's shoulder on its own. The hand moves further up, and the fingers press down on the underside of his jaw and tilts his head up so he has to look at that incredibly green eye.

"No?" Lavi whispers and leans forward to brush his lips against Kanda's.

Kanda's eyelids flutter shut, and he initiates the deep kiss that makes it get hotter. Not because of the wrestling this time. It's the press of a tongue here, and scrape of teeth there, and Lavi starts to lean over Kanda as the shirt ends up somewhere over by the window. Kanda strokes his hands down so that he can reach under Lavi's shirt, and the kiss breaks so that he can pull it off, much quicker than Lavi removes clothes. Kanda just does it that way.

"I could do this forever and ever~" Lavi cooes and begins to push Kanda down.

Kanda suddenly feels the need to say things that he has wanted to say for a while. So he puts his palms firmly against Lavi's chest, holding him at that distance, and turns his head away when Lavi tries to start another kiss, and frowns.

"Lavi... I..." he begins hesitatingly, but he was never much for the whole sentimentality thing, so he settles with getting angry instead. "Don't say stupid shit like that." _'Don't make me want to hurt you.'_ "Even if you use that stupid tone I... I don't want to hear that. Our time is too limited, and I hate that. I don't... I want..."

'_I want this to last forever, damn it, but that's not possible, and I can't fucking tell you either.'_

"But that's impossible, so—"

He scowls angrily and shoves Lavi away rather violently, but follows him, so that he falls on his back with Kanda on top of him, and they're suddenly free from the tangle of sheets.

"Lavi, we will end one day," Kanda mutters, and stares down at Lavi, and he feels angrier and angrier for every word that falls out of his damn mouth but that he can't stop, and it can probably be seen in his eyes. Lavi seems to see it. "There's nothing we can do to stop that, but I want to, but I'm not stupid, so I don't deny the fact that we can't stop that. I want this... to last... Damn it."

Lavi grabs Kanda's hands, and smiles. Kanda sort of shudders.

"But whoever of us disappears first... If I die, or you leave, for your fucking Bookman business, then... We won't forget any of this."

"No," Lavi says, and pulls him down, puffs air onto his nose and wraps this sort of strange calm around him, stills his anger. "Why would we?"

He exhales and properly straddles Lavi, who undoes his belt with just one hand. He fists his hands on the mattress beside Lavi's head, hovers barely close enough for their breaths to mix, and then rocks slightly, driving his hips into Lavi's.

They both shudder, Kanda moves his head down, Lavi moves his head up, and they meet in the middle in puffs of air and a silent moan.

Kanda knows that nothing is eternal.

But, like this, with one of Lavi's heels pressed to the small of his back and Lavi's thighs slipping against his sides, he feels entirely sure that he will be remembered by someone for as long as possible. He digs his nails into Lavi's shoulder just like Lavi digs his nails into his back, and leans down with bared teeth to bruise the redhead's exposed neck.

Lavi makes no sound of protest.

It won't leave scars, but it will have to be enough.


End file.
